I love me a good abridged series.
Survivor Legendary Abridged:
Round 1
Mods: Fresh meat! Team Valor, I choose you!
[8 of the 9 Pokeballs open]
Tapu Lele/Uxie/Mesprit: OMG Guys we are so CUTE! #Alliance!
Mewtwo: VOLCANION, ALLIANCE?
Volcanion: Leave me alone, I’m busy roleplaying gay IT kingpin of this tribe from Brunei.
Regigigas: Uh is anyone else feeling left out already?
Vicitni: I am! :3
Lugia: Time to start plan ‘make everyone luv me!’ [spoilers: didn’t work]
Mods: Oh, I guess we missed one. Replacement, I choose you!
Buzzwole: [deep, heavy breathing]
Mods: Lets bet on the vets! Team Mystic, I choose you!
Meltan: \o/
Jirachi: Everyone, please ignore the gimmick, because I assure you, I’m in to win it.
Colbalion: The KING has arrived. And he is absolutely flawless.
Articuno: I’m both mildly annoyed and intrigued.
Celebi: [generic introduction that everyone enjoys]
Hoopa: [puts the spotlight on and takes center stage]
Solgaelo: RULE #1: I am here to win! No make no mistakes, I’m taking this seriously. RULE #2: omg you like Dark Crystal? [alliance!]
Poipole: [everyone loves me but not sure why]
Deoxys: hi.
Challenge:
Everyone: Who’s that Pokemon?
Team Valor/Mystic: It’s TANGELA.
Mods: Well it looks like Valor had just enough cheese to make a pizza, congrats! Mystic, you’re heading to TC.
TC#1:
Everyone: Well Deo wasn’t all that active so…
Deoxy: Actually, could you not?
Everyone: Hm. Jirachi, what are your thoughts?
Jirachi: As surly as the sun rises in the east, I say we vote out the beast.
Everyone: Ya no, not dealing with this.
Meltan: WAIT! Not Jirachi! What about Solgaelo? Guys? Guys?
Poipole/Celebi: [cold, dead stares]
Mods: By a vote of 8 to 1, Jirachi, good bye!
Jirachi: My spirit is not broken, although the tribe has spoken.
Round 2:Valor:
Uxie:
Vacations where I wanna be. Party on the beach where the fun is free.
Luiga:
We don’t need a holiday to start to celebrate. I need a break I need a vacation.
Regigigas: [furiously mutters about world domination and pancakes]
Tapu Lele: Omg could we just like… vote anyone we want out?
Volcanion: Omg we like… totally could!
Mesprit: [is this what actually playing the game feels like?]
Mystic:
Meltan: [uploads Meltan x Jirachi drawings to deviantART]
Hoopa: Darn that round was close. Sure glad I have great allies that have my back.
Poipole/Celebi: [cold, dead stares]
Hoopa: Yay!
Mods: Psst, there is an idol here.
Colbalion: An idol you say? That would look MAGNIFICENT in my CROWN.
Colbalion: Deoxys, be a dear and help me look for the idol.
Deoxys: Sure thing! [makes post to help]
Everyone: Aw this is cute! [goes to bed]
Colbalion: Mods, give your KING an idol!
Mods: …alright.
Challenge:
Mods: Codebreakers! What is probably the biggest highlight from this challenge?
Regigigas: You put LEMONS on your PANCAKES?
Tapu Lele: OMG Mystic, we should team up when we can <3333!
Mods: Valor wins!
TC #2:
Mystic: So who do we vote for…. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
[16 hours later]
Mystic: …….hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Solgaelo: Hey Meltan, Aritcuno. Trying to be honest here but I think you two are at the bottom right now.
Meltan: …
Articuno: …
Solgaelo: No one deserved to be blindsided. I am such a nice person :3
Aritcuno: .........…
thisbitchtho.
Meltan: Thats what I've been saying!!!
Mods: By a vote of 7 to 1, So long Solgaelo!
Meltan: Yatta.
Round 3:This episode was literally just filler, so we’ll skip it.
Buzzwole: Wow. BuzzRUDE.
Round 4:
Mods: [uses Screech] DROP. YOUR. BUFFS. [It’s super effective!]
Team Valor 2.0:
Colbalion: Well hello there my new subjects. Pleasure of you to make my acquaintance.
Poipole: Hi.
Victini/Uxie/Lugia: Oh boy new friends! Now I can finally stop pretending to like my old Valor tribemates!
Team Mystic 2.0:
Articuno: Nice. Easy boots. Mystic majority. I’m sailin’ to the merge.
Meltan/Regigigas: Hello… is it me you’re looking for?
Deoxys: By the way did you guys know Colbalion has an idol?
Team Instinct:
Celebi/Hoopa: FUCK.
Volcanion: Well this should be easy.
Challenge:
Mods: It’s time for a scavenger hunt!
Team Instinct: [ultimately finds time to not do the challenge]
Mods: Valor and Mystic win! Instinct, head to TC!
TC #4:
Volcanion: So we stick together yeah?
Mewtwo: Yup. I told Celebi and Hoopa I was the bottom so they’d work with me and not scramble, but I’m really booting Celebi.
Mesprit: But wait… if you’re lying to them, then that means you must be lying to me too.
Mewtwo: Wait, I’m not following you…
Mesprit: Exactly.
Mods: By a vote of 3 to 2, Mewtwo the tribe has spoken!
Celebi/Hoopa: Holy shit how did that work?
Mods: Oh and here ya go [gives Hoopa an idol]
Hoopa: Hoop, there it is!
Round 5:Mystic 2.0:
Regigigas: MEWTWO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Meltan: Atleast you have me now <3
Tapu Lele: Yay all three of us best friends! …right? Right?
Aritcuno: [too busy drinking alone to notice he wasn’t invited to the party]
Instinct:
Volcanion: Wow that was sure weird that Mesprit voted against me. Haha, WEIRD. Good thing we’re still super buddies though. But still… WEIRD right?
Sabrina: jfc -_-
Volcanion: ….maybe… I should do something.
Valor 2.0:
Cobalion: Rawr xD! [pounces on Mods and notices bulge] OwO what is this? [find another idol]
Challenge:
Mods: It’s time for everyones favor game show: Circle! Of! Serendipity!
Regigigas: I will win this one for Mewtwo.
Hoopa: [crosses fingers] Big money, big money, no whammies…
Mods: Team Mystic and Instinct win!
Colbalion: Pssh... when it comes to opulence, I’ve already won.
Valor 2.0:
Uxie: Hm, I’m thinking maybe this would be a good time to make a move against Victini…
Victini: Hm, I’m thinking maybe this would be a good time to make a move against Colbalion…
Lugia: [loudly, out of no where]
WHO WANTS TO VOTE FOR UXIE?
Everyone: …What?
Lugia: [#bigmoves]
Uxie: uh, HOW BOUT NO?
Victini: Calm down you guys, lets just calm down. We can still try and pull off a blindside here-
Poipole: Bst Lugia. Guess whos voting for you? Victini.
Lugia: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD. VICTINI YOU MONSTERRRRR
Victini: ugh.
Colbalion: … 
Mods: By a vote of 4 to 1, Lugia the tribe has spoken.
Valor: Wasn’t that what we were going to do from the start? Why was this round so difficult…?
